2020: Letting go and moving on

My first blog post of 2020! Is it too late to say Happy New Year?

I have been so quiet on this blog recently (sorry), but I can see that God is beginning to give me things to write about again.

2019 was honestly a game changer, this past year has stretched me like no other. I didn’t realise how many lessons I could learn through adversity.

I really wasn’t ready for it…

When I think over 2019, I saw a consistent thread – “It’s time to let go and move on.”

This is probably going to read more like a personal journal entry than a blog but I just need to write about my realisations of what it has meant to let go and move on.

Letting go and moving on from the known

I worked in my previous job for almost 7 years. It was literally all I had known for a very long time…I think I was mostly on auto pilot.

When I first started this job, I loved it so much! I remember speaking with Benita and stating and re-stating that I would never get tired of my job, after she assured me that I would eventually get bored.  3 years later I began to feel it, but by then I think I had become fully institutionalised – I just couldn’t see myself working for anywhere else and the big bad job world outside looked too scary to confront. In this cocoon, I felt safe.

The only problem was….I wasn’t happy in my role and I felt trapped. Honestly, there’s nothing worse than outgrowing a job role and feeling stuck. No progression, no opportunity, no way out.

I am not sure if anyone else has experienced this in a working environment but it is a real thing! Fast forward to now…I’m in a new job – the job role is very fulfilling and challenging, lots of opportunity to develop and progress, better salary, good benefits and I am in a position where I can make a difference. But with all that goodness, I still felt sad, I missed everyone and wanted to be back at my old workplace again. It got so bad that I couldn’t even bring myself to drive passed my old work building. I found that I wasn’t fully benefiting from my new job as my mind was still stuck in the old. I even brought the stress and anxiety from my old role into my new role…leading me to believe that maybe this new role wasn’t really what I wanted.

I soon realised that I needed to mentally divorce myself from my previous role in order to excel in this new role.  I realised I had to let go and move on from the known. My difficulties in adjusting were all based on being away from the known – nothing to do with my new job role at all.

I had to let go in order to grow. Where there is comfort, where there is familiarity, there is no growth.

Letting go and moving on from pain

These past few months have really shown me the capacity human beings have for holding onto pain. I recently sat down and had a chat with someone who was going through a hard time. As they began to walk me through everything they were hurt about, it became pretty clear how much pain they were holding on to and how soul destroying it can be. This person’s case is very extreme, but it made me think about my own life and served as a mirror of what I could become if I don’t deal with pain correctly. In life you experience unfair treatment, backbiting, coldness and even betrayal but you can’t let the pain consume you to the point where all you know is pain and bitterness.

Letting go of pain is definitely easier said than done…sometimes I wish letting go of pain was as easy as letting the habit of harbouring pain creep up on you.

I always thought that acting nonchalant and getting on with things was letting go of pain until I realised that I had so much built up pain that it was manifesting itself as tiredness, continual frustration, overthinking, anxiety and general outspokenness. Something had to change…I needed to be free.

I am sure that the person I sat down with a few months ago, didn’t set out to internalise all their pain, but this habit if left unchecked can be detrimental.

I had to learn to gather all my feelings together and give it to God and leave it there, and when I feel it rising again, I give it to Him again…and again and again.

…  And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

I needed to learn to claim God’s promises.

I needed to learn not react.

I needed to learn to be still.

I needed to say “I forgive you” to the apology that I never received.

I needed to learn to let go of the pain…and never turn back.

Letting go and moving on from what used to be

…and comes the final one. Circumstances change, things change, relationships change, people change. I feel like sometimes it can be hard to let go and move on when it comes to relationships as we are holding on to what used to be. As much as we cry “why can’t things just stay the same?” The reality is things are not how they used to be and it’s unlikely it will ever be that way again.

I had to learn to find peace in accepting the reality of the present situation and realising it isn’t all bad and life can still go on. I learnt the hard way that some friendships were just for a season, and as much as I try to force it because of what used to be – I had to accept that the dynamics have changed and not to see it as a bad thing but rather accept that seasons change, and God allows people to come in and out of your life and to be in your life in different capacities for your benefit and growth.

I am learning to look back at the past only to cherish the memories and praise God for lessons learnt.

I am thankful that God gives us fresh experiences to presently embrace…I don’t need to hold onto the past, for dear life…I can let go!

…Forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14

I am so happy to be back to blogging again! I hope to blog more this year, please keep me accountable! Please get in touch if you want me to blog about any particular topics. Thank you so much for your patience.

Love, your girl forever,

♥ Miss Daisy ♥  


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