More

At the beginning of this year, I wrote about contentment (http://missdaisyspetals.blogspot.com/2013/01/2013-true-contentment.html ) and how much I really wanted to experience true contentment in Christ whether I am “up” or “down”. So it was my goal in 2013 to learn how to be content and generally happy with my lot in life. What I didn’t realise then is that this experience of being content is much easier said than done. Half way through this year I blogged about how disappointed I was that everything that I had planned for 2013 basically fell through (http://missdaisyspetals.blogspot.com/2013/07/half-way.html ) and although I expressed my acceptance that this was God’s leading, I still found myself feeling somewhat…discontent.

A few months ago I was on the phone to my good friend Anike expressing my disappointment and confusion about how this year has gone so far. Anike is someone who has done many exciting and fulfilling things in her young life so I took the opportunity to ask her how she felt her year/life was going. She replied “I think all is vanity” Not the response I was expecting “Humans are interesting, you may look at someone’s life and wish you were doing what they are doing or have what they have, and that same person can be looking at  someone else wanting to do what they are doing. It’s all about learning to be content in life as you will always want more”

This conversation was very special to me and got me thinking. Maybe this year didn’t work out the way I had planned because God is trying to show me where exactly I am trying to find contentment. I began to wonder, “Do I truly believe that true contentment comes from Christ alone?” “Am I trying to find contentment in external things?” “What if this year did work out the way I had planned?” “What if Christ did give me all that I desired would I eventually turn around and want more?” “Would I look at what someone else is doing or what they have and wish I was in their shoes?” Anike is right, humans are very interesting the fact that we can be given everything and still want more. Why is that?

From my own experience and observation, I think the problem of discontentment has its roots in these two areas;

1) Christ is not the centre  

All human being have longings, we naturally long for love, acceptance, sense of worth, approval, affection etc. I believe that Jesus has put these longings in us that we might long and thirst for Him and for his love, acceptance and approval.  ‘In the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried, saying, If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink.’John 7:37 When we recognise this fact and place Him in the centre of our lives , we will never thirst. He will satisfy these longings to a point where nothing can disturb our peace even if we are rejected or unloved by those who are closest to us. However most of the time we as humans look for more tangible things to satisfy the thirst of our heart. It could be anything; friends, family, relationships, food, our talents, clothes, television, career and even ministerial activates.  Whether good or bad, if these “things” are being used as a substitution instead of Christ they will automatically become our idols and no matter how deeply we drink of them we will always come up thirstier. Jeremiah 2:13 says ‘For my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me the fountain of living waters, and hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water.’ A cistern is a place where rain water is collected and stored, in the bible times they didn’t have taps in their homes so they would go to a cistern to get water during a dry season. Though cisterns can be helpful they cannot provide as much water as a fountain or completely sustain during a dry season. With a broken cistern, the rain water goes in but cannot be held so just goes straight out.

This scenario reminds me of fizzy drinks and how you still feel thirsty after drinking them, its only water that can truly quench thirst. Likewise these things cannot be a substitute for Christ because they are perishable; Friends and family can fail us, jobs and relationship don’t always work out, the TV programs that some of us are addicted to are not real life, clothes go out of style and make up fades and what is left is a thirsty soul as these things appear to satisfy for a time. Christ, the fountain of living water, is the only one that can truly satisfy the thirsts and longings of our hearts. He offers us living water that may never thirst “Jesus answered and said unto her, Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again:But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.” John 4:13-14 He can grant us our heart’s desires and much more but only if we recognise him as our centre.  “ Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33

2) Looking at others

There are times when we can look at other peoples’ lives, who they are and what they are doing and then compare their life to our own and wish to be in their shoes or wonder why our life isn’t as great as theirs. This may not seem like a serious issue but the bible says that this is not wise “For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.” 2 Cor 10:12. I personally believe comparing our life to others is not wise because it can cause discontentment, discouragement and somewhat resentment towards God. We start believing God doesn’t love us because he favours and blesses others more.

We must remember that God has a special purpose for each and every single one of us that is not better or worse than someone else’s but best for us as an individual. It is a great shame to waste our lives away wanting someone else’s life or being discouraged because we are not blessed like so and so. Thinking about this second point has opened my eyes to the dangers of social media,  (Just to be clear, I am not knocking social media as you all know I have a blog, a Facebook, Twitter and Instagram account) I personally believe social media can become dangerous if it is being used to “watch” and compare yourself to others. I know many people who are struggling with this and who become very discouraged when they see pictures or status updates of newlyweds/happily married couples, people traveling with friends, people having babies, people sharing aspects of their Christian journey, people going forward in their career or just people expressing their happiness.

When it comes to social media let’s be real and consider this; People will only show you what they want you to see. Think about it, would you post an unattractive picture of yourself or broadcast your family secrets? If married, would you post pictures of you and your husband/wife arguing? No? Same as everybody else (apart from the few exceptions) with social media everyone is putting their best foot forward; even myself, I choose what I wish to share on this blog. Nothing is picture perfect, so let us not be discouraged or envious of people based on their social media highlights but rather be happy for them and enjoy what they are sharing. Don’t forget we all have highlights, even if we don’t realise it.

When it comes to mortal man not all is as it seems, so we need to focus on Christ. Everything about Christ’s life is laid open before us so that we can watch and compare our life to His. How often when we are busy scrolling through Facebook and Instagram do we ask “Is my life reflecting the life of Jesus?” Jesus is the only person we can safely look up to, nothing is hidden or pretentious, everything He is and everything He promises is true and can be ours if we shift our focus away from other peoples’ lives and social media highlights and onto Him.

My Thoughts

 So we’ve reached the last month of 2013 and looking back I can say God has done so much for me this year; I have learnt things that I would not have had the opportunity to learn if I was in my “preferred situation”.  So why was I having feelings of discontentment throughout the year? Why in my heart was I asking for more? Perhaps Christ hasn’t been the centre of my life and perhaps I have been watching people and comparing and God has been using different scenarios throughout this year to bring this to my attention.

A few days ago when I was thinking and writing about this I decided to tell myself “Daisy, don’t waste your Christian journey and your life away just mourning over things that are not going your way. All these feeling are just drawing you away from God, and making it hard for you to grow and develop the character that Christ is trying to instil in you.”

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t aspire to go higher and higher and achieve more, what I am saying is that we should let God lead our lives and be happy with the decisions he makes even if we feel like we are at a standstill and there is no progress, excitement or fulfilment. Christ has allowed us to be where we are now as there is something he wants us to learn, develop or overcome. Be encouraged, your current situation may be preparing you for the very thing that you have wanted to do or the very place in life you want to be; but before He grants you anything He must develop in you the character to maintain whatever he has given you.

So now I am back to where I started, learning to be content but this time the “more” I am asking for is Christ.


Summer 2011



Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. Hebrews 13:5

Love, your girl forever,

♥ Miss Daisy ♥

Danny Boy

17 years ago the world welcomed my twin brother Danny (His name is Daniel but I've only ever call him Danny), though born 7 years apart we are pretty identical and look like twins therefore (in my mind anyway) we’re twins!

Christmas 2011

Danny is an incredibly unique and talented young man and I am so happy that he is my little brother. He is very loving and kind to me, even when I am being “the mean big sister” he has never really ever been disrespectful to me. It feels so strange that he is all grown up now, I remember looking after him, feeding him, changing him etc. I remember when he was a toddler I used to wake him up in the middle of the night so he could sleep with me in my bed when I felt scared.

I’ll never forget the day I was sitting down on the garden step, I had Danny on my lap, as I was trying to feed him some juice. Every time I went to feed him he would move his head away, so I decided it was time to force feed him that juice. I held him tightly and proceeded to feed him but he continued to move his head, the more he moved his head the tighter I held him; he began to shout “Daisy! Daisy!” as I continued to make him drink. My mum turned and said “Daisy, he is saying your name!” “Really?” I thought. I wanted to hear this so I tried to force feed him again and he shouted “Daisy! Daisy!” in order to make me stop; that was the day Danny said his first word.

Danny, my special little brother, I pray that as you continue to grow in years that you will become more responsible and make the right decisions concerning your life, I pray that you will always choose to do the right thing even if it means you standing out amongst the crowd. I pray that you will grow to be the man God wants you to be.

Happy Birthday Danny

Love, your big sister (and twin) forever,

Miss Daisy

Wales 2013

Let me tell you about this woman.

When she was 20 years old she decided to leave Uganda and move to England. Her partner (who later became her husband) wasn’t too keen on the idea; I mean, who did they know in England really? However this woman was determined, she had a vision…she had dreams.

While her husband worked long hours, she started doing hair from home and offering her services at local hair salons. She could have enjoyed a life at home looking after her 5 year old son and 1 year old daughter, but this woman was determined, she needed to help support her family.

Education was very important to her, but with a husband and two young children that had to be set aside, however this woman was determined and patient, it was just a matter of time.

She kept a daily journal with daily prayers for her husband and children. She faithful kept that journey!  Going before God and reviewing her day and setting goals for herself, this woman was determined; she understood the importance of a praying wife and mother.

She would watch cooking programs and with her daughter observing  by her side she would experiment in the kitchen with all kinds of recipes. When her daughter was in primary school every morning she would make her African millet porridge, her daughter loved that porridge and till this day her daughter still calls it yummy porridge. This woman was determined; her daughter had to learn to cook delicious meals.

Heavily pregnant with her second son, she redecorated and painted the whole house. She laboured tirelessly for her husband and children, no surface was left unwiped or bed unmade. This woman was determined; her house had to be a home.

Finally the time came for her to pursue a course of study. Through trial and error, success and (apparent) failures she made history she became the first university graduate in her family. Against all the odds, past mistake, inconveniences and struggles she pushed through and is finally where she wants to be. This woman was determined, determined to finally live her dream.

Do you know this woman? I know this woman, I see her in the mirror sometimes. Since she was 20 years old, I have been watching her. She provided me with a very strong example and some of my greatest strengths can be traced back to her.  Though sheer determination and much sacrifice she taught me, sometimes lessons that I didn’t want to learn.

But the greatest strength she has given me is a knowledge of God. We don’t always see eye to eye in spiritual matters, however through her the gospel seed was planted in my heart.  For years she persevered and made the greatest effort to make sure we attended church every week; (In fact my earliest childhood memory is me being outside my first church in Canning Town) she taught us how to pray and to love God. I am so thankful for her determination in this respect, as years later, by my own choice, I decided to give my heart to Christ.

Mum, I’m so thankful for the journey that God has guided you through; it’s been very inspiring to watch. I thank God for thee; for your determination and love, for everything you are and everything you mean to me.

My Mother and I at Aberdulais Falls 2013

Happy Birthday Mum

Love, your one and only daughter forever,

♥ Miss Daisy ♥

I’ve moved house by the way…

Sorry! I’ve been so busy I forgot to mention it.

The decision to move house came because I wanted to be closer to work. Though Llangammarch Wells was a dream location (see pictures here http://missdaisyspetals.blogspot.com/2013/03/goodbye-ammanford-hello-llangammarch.html and http://missdaisyspetals.blogspot.com/2013/03/snow-day.html ) my journey to work was 1hour and 20 minutes each way, and as you can imagine doing this 5 days a week was incredibly exhausting and also very costly. I also moved house because I wanted to experience having my own home as a single person and to learn how to build and run a home.

So in September I traded the farm lands of Lllangammarch Wells for the grass lands of Tonna, God has blessed me with a bungalow in this quiet village. Though I live in a bungalow I still have a fair amount of stairs, my house is up on a hill so there are steps leading up to my house (which is great fun when I come home with bags of shopping) and more steps to get to my garden.  I haven’t yet explored the area fully but according to a few maps I’ve looked at there are some amazing walks and beautiful waterfalls close by.

When I get a chance I will upload some pictures of the house/area for you to look at. Till then here’s a little sneak peek.

Side view 

Don’t be a stranger, come visit sometime.

My mum bought me these beautiful flowers for my new home x

Love, your girl forever,

♥ Miss Daisy ♥

25 and 9 Years

As close as Samba and I are, for most of our friendship we’ve been far apart. Collectively we’ve been between London, Derby, Switzerland, Wales, Leeds and Paris yet our friendship keeps going from strength to strength. People often wonder why I use my blog to highlight my close friends’ birthdays, well it’s at that time in particular I reflect on their lives and on our friendship; I’ve enjoyed reflecting on the years of friendship God has blessed Samba and I with.

 

Samba and I met in college; it wasn’t an instant friendship as we subtle clashed a few times during our As General Studies classes. Till this day I can’t actually pinpoint (perhaps Samba can help me) at what time we became close friends but 9 years later I am happy to say that I love Samba dearly and  I am blessed to have her in my life. I love Samba because she is very patient with me (even when I am having my self-centred strops) and is never harsh or rude. She is very honest (sometimes brutally) which is such a blessing as sometimes you need your friends to tell you the truths that you don’t want to tell yourself. She is very intelligent (Bilingugal too!) and I love having discussion with her regarding religious, political, economic and social issues. I am also inspired by her strong values and morals; her conduct is always governed by principle.

It’s been a wonderful 9 years, with all kinds of memories; Studying the bible on the bus, revising for our A’Levels, birthday celebrations, food time, prayer time, sleepovers and deep and meaningful conversation. I’m so thankful for these 9 years, above all, I’m thankful to God for the 25 years he has given her!

Samba and I - Class of 2012

 

Happy Birthday Samba

 

With Overflowing love!

♥ Miss Daisy ♥

He's 30 Today!

I’ve always wondered what makes turning 30 so significant? Perhaps the 30^th birthday is the final stamp of adulthood; you’ve left your awkward teenage and immature twenties behind and now can be taken seriously when you refer to yourself as an adult. My brother’s 30^th birthday is significant to me because it has made me think about his journey.

My oldest brother Douglas

The part of London where my family currently live was not considered the best of areas while Douglas was growing up. The schools weren’t particularly any good and the streets of E16 were filled with crime, violence, vandalism, racism etc. (It probably wasn’t as bad as I’ve made it sound but for those who grew up in the Canning Town/East London area would know what I mean) It was hard times being a boy during those times and a lot of boys his age cracked under peer pressure and “fell off the path” as it were.

So today is significant to me not because “My brother has turned the big three zerooo whoop whoop!!!!!” but rather he has reached a milestone where we can look back at his life and thank God for what He has allowed him to become despite “the odds”. Circumstances were not always favourable during these 30 years but Douglas has managed to successful swim against the tide into adulthood.

Doug, I thank God for your life and I am very proud of you.

Happy Birthday Bro

The golden days: My brother and I

With Overflowing Love

♥ Miss Daisy ♥

A Poem for Kimberley

The words of this poem and song are so meaningful and remind me of a very special and dear friend. We both love these words so I thought I would share them on her birthday as a thanksgiving for her life and friendship.

More than you’ll ever know

Something brought you to my mind today,

I thought about the funny ways you make me laugh,

Yet I feel like it’s OK to cry with you.

I thought about how you have been more than a sister,

And more than a friend.

As you follow after Jesus

On the highest mountain and in the lowest valley,

You’ve been more than a friend to me,

You have shone the truth into my life.

You’ve been closer than a sister

And you’ll never know what it means to me,

Just to know you’ve been on your knees for me!

You have blessed my life,

More than you’ll ever know!

You had faith when I had none,

You prayed God would bring me a brand new song,

When I didn’t think I could find the strength to sing.

And all the while, I’m hoping that I’ll be the kind of sister to you that you’ve been to me.

As we follow after Jesus.

 

On the highest mountain and in the lowest valley,

You’ve been more than a friend to me,

You have shone the truth into my life.

You’ve been closer than a sister

And you’ll never know what it means to me,

Just to know you’ve been on your knees for me!

You have blessed my life,

More than you’ll ever know!

More than you’ll ever know!

A friend loveth at all times, and a sister is born for adversity. Proverbs 17:17

With Overflowing Love

 

♥ Miss Daisy ♥

Love comes, when you least expect it: Mr and Mrs Fanis

The 25^th of August saw the much anticipated event of the summer; Monica’s wedding. Weddings are always a joyous occasion but what I particularly enjoy about the wedding season is the build-up to the big day. The night before the wedding Monica booked herself and her bridesmaids into a cute little hotel, I wasn’t a bridesmaid but happened to be in the right place at the right time and was asked to come along (yay!!!). Spending the night with a bride before her wedding day seemed very interesting to me. I’ve always wondered what brides are like the morning of their wedding day; is she first thing on the phone making last minute checks?  Did she even sleep?  Is she wrecked by nervousness and anxiety? Is she overwhelmed with excitement and tears? Well this bride woke up very….calm?

On the morning of Monica’s wedding we had a 7am wakeup call from Benita for prayer and devotion. We opened up our devotion with this reading from the book Adventist home ‘The presence of Christ alone can make men and women happy. All the common waters of life Christ can turn into the wine of heaven. The home then becomes as an Eden of bliss; the family, a beautiful symbol of the family in heaven’ Pg 28. We prayed and encouraged Monica to draw her strength from the fountain of living water as she establishes her new home with Ernest. Happiness in their new home will only be found with the presence of Christ as exhibited in the love they show to each other and through their mutual self-denial and sacrifice. Even the “common waters of life” the cooking, cleaning, paying bill, organising etc can be sweetened by Christ and through Him she will find her greatest joy in serving her husband.

Another exciting event that happened in the lead up to Monica’s wedding was her bridal shower. This event brought all the “girls” together as we enjoyed an evening of food, fun and lots of gifts. The more serious moment of that evening came when Monica and Ernest courtship and engagement story was shared. I had the privilege of reading it out and it was such a blessing and encouragement to us all. At the beginning of their story Monica described how she reached a stage in her single life where her relationship with Christ was so solid that no tempest or storm could overthrow it. She waited patiently on God and walked closely with him and when the time was right and when she least expected it she met Ernest Fanis. It was very interesting to listen to the story and hear how Ernest took the time to get to know Monica, how he wooed her (very romantic) and finally how he proposed to her. Their story definitely left us very confident that God had chosen Ernest to be the one to lead Monica as her husband.

So, the wedding…

The beautiful bride and I

On the day of the wedding we were hit with another heat wave making the day even more glorious. Monica and Ernest actually got married in the same church they first visited together as an item. The wedding had a plain and simple feel yet was still touched with a great deal of elegance.  In addition to the lovely mix of African and Caribbean dishes at the reception, both sides of the family gave very meaningful speeches, songs and word of encouragement and advice to the newly wedded couple.

The wedding day is usually the happiest day of a woman’s life, however on this day the biggest smile came from Ernest. He looked so happy and proud to be a husband to Monica and I’m guessing that the words of Solomon were ringing in his mind ‘Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord’ Proverbs 18:22.

 

My first photo with the newly weds (there was a queue hehe)

Monica and Ernest, I am so thankful for your friendship and pray that God’s favour may be upon you as you seek to make Christ the centre of your new home.

With overflowing love

♥ Miss Daisy ♥

Triumph: In loving Memory of Emmanuel Kulongo

A poem that I read at the funeral of Emmanuel Kulongo on Friday 23rd August 2013.*

Triumph

It is the triumph of the Christian faith that it enables its followers to suffer loss and be strong...

To maintain a grip of steel, then willingly give.

To love, and lose, and dare to love again.

To believe in promises while relinquishing the right to personal claims.

To accept tears as glittering gifts and as diamonds rare. 

To believe that we are perfectly loved, even when suffered to drink anguish.

To have unwavering trust though we don’t understand.

It is triumph.

To embrace and even welcome whatever God’s providence ordains.

To suffer softly.

To remember that His feet are washed best with tears.

To remember He has never once made a mistake.

To remember there is a reason why we are trusted with every sorrow.

To remember His name is made great when His children love Him anyway.

Manni and his siblings

Now it's our turn.

Our turn to tuck in this treasure.

To give our precious gift Emmanuel Wakoli Kulongo back to the Giver.

Me thinking this is the worst kind of personal loss— but at the same time wondering;

Is it really loss when you give a gift? 

What God has taken is it loss? No.

Nothing is lost if it is a gift given back...

But is it triumph?

That the closing pages of Emmanuel’s life pointed us back to the cross,

His Creator wounded to the delight of Satan and pleasure of those he came to save.

A lonesome death appearing like victory belonged to another,

But with His closing words 'It is Finished'

Christ yields His final breath in completion of His great conquest over sin and over death.

And in yielding all and letting go of life itself.

Christ bows His head conqueror in all things.

Therefore it is triumph!

That the last lesson Emmanuel’s life taught, is that Satan can do whatever to the body

But he cannot, touch the soul that abides in Christ.

Therefore it is triumph!

Manni and his wife Gloria (2010)

That many comfortable knees finally found the ground.

True confession and repentance.

Surrendered hearts.

We uplifted our brother.

In those final moments.

Hearts sustained only by prayer and Psalms.

The four of us standing strong and united.

Singing sacred lullabies.

Emmanuel drifts to sleep.

Walls left resounding “O Lord, How Great Thou Art"

In The stillness of the night.

Eyes filled with tears.

We remember...

Manni and his Son Josiah (2011)

A devoted Son, Brother, Husband, Father and Friend

A life bound to the altar, dedicated to service

A spirit humble

A heart patient and tender

Spiritual conversations

Loving rebukes and reproofs

Smoothies and fruit juices

Parks and restaurants

Back flips and handstands

Dangers of the night lurking, finding refuge in a drive home.

The musical mastermind

Heavenly compositions

Complex harmonies

Always insisting notes are nailed without compromise

Guardian and teacher

Ink ridden pens, tethered pages, worn out bibles

Studying together

Eating the little book together

Finding strength in the high places together

Manni and I (2008)

And what once felt like nightfall, now feels like the moment just before dawn

And when dawn should reach eternity on that glorious morning

We shall meet Emmanuel again

Crying “O death, where is thy sting O grave where is thy victory”

And together we shall say “It is Triumph!”

Later, when this pearl finds a temporary place of rest and after thoughts, words, prayers and tears have finished their work for the day, what is left for us is a lesson worthy of the gift through which it came;

Faith doesn't mean that if we believe hard enough, pray hard enough, we'll love the outcome.

Faith, is believing that God’s perfect will has been accomplished, regardless of the outcome.

Manni, Gloria and Josiah (2012)

Therefore I stand here today, Thanking God for Manni’s life,

How he stood up tall and graceful and gave his heart to a merciful God.

And by faith, I believe, that through Emmanuel’s life and his death, Christ has triumphed!  

                                 If video does not play, please use the following link:http://vimeo.com/74576711

In all things, Christ triumphs!

♥ Miss Daisy ♥ 

* Some exerts of this poem have been adapted from Sean Neblett's poem "Triumph [Like a Pearl]