Birthday Blues

So today is my 29th birthday!!! I can’t believe I have reached the final year of my 20’s…eeeeekkkkk!!!! 

I am so thankful for this day and my heart is filled with so much gratitude as I look back at God’s goodness towards me! However, I wanted to write this blog post as it hasn’t always been a “happy birthday".

Last year on my birthday I was miserable! So miserable that I almost refused to go out with my friends and family that day.  I had a bad case of the birthday blues and it all stemmed from feelings of discontent and inadequacy. I kept on thinking to myself “I am 28 years old and I haven’t done this and that”, “Most people my age are in such and such a position”, “It’s too late for me to do this now”, “I feel like a failure”.  

Honestly! All these thoughts were running through my mind and I genuinely believed them to be true. 

Have you ever felt this way? Not just on your birthday but any day? 

I just want to encourage you....

When we feel like this God calls to our hearts to come to him for perspective. 

Why? 

Because most of the time some of these thoughts are based upon unrealistic expectations we put on ourselves, and unfortunately these expectations often don’t line up with our current reality.  

Let me give an example...

One of the things I was really down about last year was not having massive savings. I believed a lot of people my age had enough savings to buy a house or to help them out in a huge emergency…..but that wasn’t me.  

When speaking with a friend about it she reminded me that I can’t compare my situation to others. She said “Daisy, I can afford to put loads of money away in my savings account as I still live with my parents, I don’t pay any rent or bills and I walk to work etc. You on the other hand, don’t live with your parents, you have your own place and you pay for everything  yourself so it’s natural that you won’t always have huge amounts of money to put towards savings after you’ve met essentials."

Can you see what I mean about perspective? 

Don’t be so hard on yourself! Don’t compare your life or current situation to others, or the standards of society or whatever else…take your problem to the Lord and ask for some perspective and a reality check. 

I have truly gained perspective in this area and now my whole approach and altitude has changed. Now instead of feeling sad about my lack of savings I just save as much as I can and trust in the Lord. God is always providing so I need to remember that my hope is in him and not in my savings account.   

So if you ever have a case of the birthday blues or just life blues in general, take some time out with the lord to work through these concerns and ask him to show you the reality alongside his will for you.  

You may feel like you’re well into your 30’s and not married yet…. 

Ask the Lord to show you your heart, are you feeling this way because your friends are all getting married? Are you even ready for marriage? Are your ideals of marriage in line with what the bible teaches? Where does the idea come from that being single in your 30’s is a bad thing? Is this what the bible teaches? 

You may feel like you hate your job and just want better opportunities….  

Are you being faithful even now in  your current job, or are you doing just enough to get by? Are you actively doing things that put yourself  in a position to be available for better opportunities? Are you proactive in seeking for opportunities? Don’t expect anyone to approach you, sometimes you have to put yourself forward and make it known you are available for opportunities and further development.  

You may feel like you're far from God and your Christian walk is not what it used to be…  

How is your devotional life? Where is your heart? What is filling up your time and especially your mind? Are you engaging in things or hanging around with people who are drawing you away from God? Do you renew your mind daily with the word of God? Remember you can’t live off of last week’s bible study.   

At the end of my birthday last year (after spending the evening with my friends and family *smiles*) I remember going to bed with the lesson that life doesn’t always work out the way we want it to,  and things don’t always work out according to the way we have mapped it out or the timings we have set forth, however we can rest assured and have full confidence in God as he has promised to direct our path.  

Here are some scriptures of encouragement  

Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.  

Psalm 37: 4-5 

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.  

Psalm 3: 5-6 

A man's heart deviseth his way: but the Lord directeth his steps 

Proverbs 16: 9 

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. 

Jeremiah 29:11 

Yes, so no birthday blues today, just pure and utter gratitude and overflowing love.

Love, your girl forever,

♥ Miss Daisy ♥  

Victory is through surrender

So my current career is in Computing and ICT. I am more passionate about other things but this is what I do at the moment to make a living. I currently work in a team of 7 in ICT Support; we are the people you contact when “something is not working!”. When I first started my job, I was in a team of 3, the 3rd person was my manager so technically I was in a team of 2 so it was just my colleague, let’s call him Samuel,  and I.

**Disclaimer**

This is a character building experience/lesson  that the Lord has put me through and I am not here to suggest this is something someone else should do or that this is the best thing to do. I am just sharing my own personal experience hoping that we will be able to learn more about submission and surrender. Also just to add that this is nothing to do with love or romantic relationships but simply respect and submission and there is no communication or relationship or romantic feelings  outside of this context.

Sorry! Disclaimers are so awkward  but have to be done, to find out what I am talking about keep reading :)

I personally find the Computing , IT and Technical industry to be a very male dominated area, and often times women can feel trampled upon and undermined in terms of knowledge and experience. I don’t believe this is every woman’s experience in this field but I have witnessed and experienced these things, so when I started this role I wasn’t surprised when me and my male colleague started to clash a little bit.

I found that he was always taking over; he used to do things like,  if I was dealing with a user and was finding it difficult to resolve an IT issue, he would just completely take over and I would be pushed into the background not really knowing the steps he was taking to resolve the issue. Also if he was showing me how to do something he would often grab the mouse out of my hand and do it for me. I also found that my judgment and decisions would always be either questioned or seen as wrong. It became quite difficult to deal with because in my mind I thought if I wasn’t qualified enough or didn’t know what I was doing why would they have employed me.

After a while, I guess I started to rebel. I started to do my own thing and wouldn’t listen to his suggestions or take his help. If I did take his help, I wouldn’t do it with a sincere heart. When he would grab my mouse I would grab it back. I began to make my frustrations very clear. This obviously was not a good approach at all as we are both there to work as a team to support the service.  

I remember one day, the situation became so overwhelming that I ran to the toilet almost in tears. I was so upset and I was praying and asking the Lord how am I supposed to cope with all of this, I am here 5 times a week so it is something I have to deal with almost every day. I really wished my colleague would change and stop trying to take over and control everything.

In that moment God opened my heart and I remember being impressed that I just have to submit.

What?

I have to stop rebelling and just surrender. The Lord was calling me to just submit to him.

Why?

I was given 3 reasons

1. He’s a man
2. He’s older than me
3. He has been in this job for a number of years and has more experience and knowledge in this area.

This was a hard answer for me to take in as I knew that I just wanted my colleague to change, but I realised that I needed to change. Sometimes when we start a new job, ministry, project etc. We often come like we have arrived and often don’t want to humble ourselves and learn from those who have a bit more experience and foreknowledge than us. We trust too much in our own knowledge and experience and that becomes our ruler.   I needed to change my approach to the situation and realise that I couldn’t win by fighting him. The Lord wanted me to understand the paradox that victory is through surrender.

From that day I started to change my approach, when he would tell me something I would listen and welcome his suggestions. When he would start taking over or would grab my mouse,  I would let him and try and learn and observe what he was doing to resolve the issue.

God is so good as honestly, we now have the best working relationship ever! We both support each other in our roles, we share knowledge and also support each other in personal matters e.g If I need to leave work early last minute, he is happy to stay behind and cover me and vice versa. I don’t feel in anyway that he tries to take over and he doesn’t grab my mouse anymore :). Also I have found that he often asks for my suggestion and goes with decisions that I make. We have developed mutual respect for each other. I have also developed in my career and technical knowledge because of our interactions. It’s such a blessing to know that you can work with someone in a team and not clash or have to fight.  I believe this  blessing came from surrender. People may be asking “Well what about him?!?!” I can’t look at him or expect him to change his behaviour, that is out of my control but I can change my own behaviour and set the example as a Christian. It is powerful to see how my part alone and following God’s counsel has produced such positive results.

This experience has taught me so much about submission in a marriage and has changed my perspective. I used to view submission as control and total domination but now I view it as respect, protection, honour and trust. There are times when Samuel will tell me that I need to do “such and such” to resolve an issue and in my mind I am screaming, “This is not going to work!!!”, I go ahead and do it anyway, and it does work! I am seeing the wisdom of God in submission, and it is teaching me to learn to trust in the judgement of others, as I will not always have the right answer.

Just to reiterate, as I don’t want to be misunderstood, there are no romantic feelings here and our interactions do not go beyond working hours. I have grown to respect Samuel as an individual and as a professional and I want nothing but the best for him professionally and also that he may give his heart to Christ :). I just wanted to share this experience as I am thankful for the Lord’s leading in this area, and for his unfathomable wisdom in teaching me this great lesson and for making my working environment a pleasant place to be.

Victory is through surrender!

…. nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.

Luke 22: 42

Love, your girl forever,

♥ Miss Daisy ♥  

Victory

How can I win if I surrender?

How can I fight if I die?

This paradox seems like a mystery,

Is it possible to win if I lose?

How can win if I surrender?

How can I fight if I die?

On that lonely evening at Gethsemane,  

The battle of all ages was fought for you and me,

Victory is through surrender!

Jesus said not my will but thine be done,

Jesus found victory is through surrender

I can win when I surrender

I can fight because you died

This paradox is not a mystery

I die so you can live within me

Victory is mine when I surrender.

Lord I surrender all to you.

Jared and Zac Caster

Miss Daisy's Petals is now on social media!

It's been just over 5 years blogging and its time to develop and grow!

I have decided to set up two social media accounts for this blog. So if you are on Facebook or Instagram you can like my page/follow me at:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/missdaisyspetals/

Instragram: @missdaisyspetals

There is so much I want to share with you and I am looking forward to the future. There are lots of exciting things to come from Miss Daisy's Petals!

Looking forward to connecting with you all.

Love, your girl forever,

♥ Miss Daisy ♥

Everybody likes to be liked

Happy new year one and all! 

...Wow, that's how long it's been!

It's has been a few months since I wrote on here. I guess it’s been a cross between not being motivated to write and also going through a huge transitional period (I hope to share more about this soon) that has kept me “MIA”.

Nevertheless I’m here for this moment :)

I want to write candidly about an area that has been pressing on my heart.

A LOT has been going on in and around me and it has really revealed an inward struggle within my heart. As the earth continues to degrade and as the wickedness and corruption in this world reaches higher heights, I am beginning to conceptualise the harsh realities of what it means to be a Christian.

I guess I have always known that being a Christian means standing tall and often standing alone, but I’m beginning to sink into the realisation  that standing for Christ, his word and his truth goes hand in hand with persecution.

But why I am even surprised?

The bible does say “…and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.” 2 Timothy 3:12

I’m surprised because the reality is, deep down…I want Christ but not persecution.

But can a servant be greater than her master?

“Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you…” John 15: 20

If Christ suffered persecution then who am I to shun it?

I’m feeling so pressed and pushed by the idea that this is not something I can run from or avoid…unless I let go of Jesus all together?

God promises many things in his word, but not freedom from persecution for his name sake.

He promises Victory!

But not without warfare.

So here I am….

Anxious

Afraid

Yet greatly loved and comforted.

Another reality I need to settle into is that there is nothing that Christ is asking me to pass through that he himself has not gone through or willing to do. The path before me has already been trod.

So this is my prayer…

Lord, your grace is sufficient…help me to stand bold for you and for the truth. Help me to hold fast to my convictions…no matter the cost. Indeed, whatever may befall me is such a small price to pay compared to all you have done for me.

In Jesus Name, Amen

Everybody likes to be liked…but that’s not what’s promised.

Love, your girl forever,

♥ Miss Daisy ♥

Those Autumn Leaves

I thought I'd better get this in before we reach winter!

I'm a spring/summer girl, but I must admit there's something about autumn that I love...

I think it's the autumn leaves. 

Maybe it's the colours. 

Or the way the leaves fly in the air at the gushing winds.

I’m thinking….

Those leaves were once green, you know, and so full of life, but even nature recognises that in order for a tree to grow it needs to let go of what it has, it needs to let go of everything it has worked for, it needs to lose....

But only for a time. 

I remember reading "Every leaf must fall, to make way for a brighter tomorrow."

Now, I know what I love about Autumn!

Those autumn leaves illustrate the profound lesson that seasons come and seasons go…

There have been seasons in my own life where I have prayed for God to remove me from a certain point and bring me to a different one…I just couldn’t understand why the Lord had kept me there so long.

As in nature, so it is in life…every season is purposeful, every season is crucial.

Therefore I must embrace the lessons God is trying to teach me in my current season, instead of constantly wishing for the next or for “something else”.

Although I love spring, summer, blossoming flowers and bright skies…When that season changes and it turns to autumn….

I choose those autumn leaves.

What exactly is she choosing?


Life, growth and….total surrender. 

Love, your girl forever,

♥ Miss Daisy ♥

Birthday Reflections: With every ounce of my little heart

I haven’t been so good with blogging this year (sorry guys L), but I thought I would write a quick blog post to mark the occasion of my 28^th birthday which was last Thursday (18th May).

That morning I received a birthday message from a friend and one of the lines in the text was “…Enjoy today and be blessed knowing that he who has our lives in His hands thought it wise to spare you another year that in itself is a blessing”.

So profound! That sentence made me realise how much of a privilege it is to be alive and just how much our days on this earth are numbered and ordained by God...

...each day is a gift to be given back to him. 

After reading my friend's text, I knelt down on my bedside and prayed;

“Lord, in my 28^th year I truly desire to grow and to reach higher heights…I give you all of my days, to love and to serve you…with every ounce of my little heart”

Make each day count towards eternity. 

Love, your girl forever,

♥ Miss Daisy ♥

Beautiful Feet: In Loving memory of Anike Igunnu

If there was ever a day that I could say my heart broke, it was on the 22nd of September 2016, when we lost our beloved wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend.


I thought this would be the easiest thing to write…right? I have an abundance of words that testify of just how wonderful Anike was, yet 5 months have passed and I still cannot seem to write…


Let me ask you a question, how do you sum up (in one blog post) over 15 years of friendship? Years that have been cut short so quickly and unexpectedly?


Sometimes, I sit there and try and reason it all out and to me it just doesn’t seem logical that Anike, the person that was such a major part of my life, is no longer here. I can’t get my head around the fact that I can search this whole earth and never find her…

Sometimes I am tempted to deal with it by pretending that, maybe this hasn’t happened, she isn’t gone...we just haven’t spoken in a while….However, the reality is, we spoke every week, we prayed every Wednesday morning…and this is the reality!


In those painful moments, I ask the Lord for comfort and he gives me something beyond precious….he gives me the gift of memories.


So today on what would have been Anike’s 28th birthday, I want to embrace and share this gift and remember Anike’s beautiful life and especially her beautiful feet.

A small collection of memories

Anike - First Encounter

Anike and I both attended the same secondary school. We officially met one day on the Newham Leisure Centre Bridge on our way home from school. I always feel like Anike and I were destined to meet – We both applied to go to St Angela's Ursuline School, we didn’t get in. Our natural second choice was Royal Docks Community School (this was the secondary school that most people living in Custom House area went to and both of our older brothers went there), we couldn’t get in...so we both ended up at Kingsford Community School. Since meeting our friendship began to blossom especially as she began to demonstrate a deep love for God and wisdom beyond her years. She was such a good influence! Almost every day after school, a small group of us would go to her grandma’s house for prayer, bible study etc. It was such a blessed experience as I learnt that the bible did have the answers I needed and the bible did teach me of Christ. During that time I gave my life to Christ and began to keep the true seventh day Sabbath (Saturday). Anike was such a blessing and I've never had a friend who has been so consistent in nurturing my walk with God and keeping me on track.

18 year old Anike and I 

Anike - The Christian

I never thought that I could meet someone of my age that was so committed to God. Even in secondary school, Anike was so highly respected as someone who loved and feared God. I remember when Anike taught me that I could pray to God to help me with my exams, those days I was so young in faith that I didn’t think that you could take absolutely anything to God in prayer. As the years went on Anike’s faith grew stronger and bolder. I watched how much she trusted in the Lord in the face of rejection, setbacks and delays. I watched her fully embrace God’s providential leading when she had her son earlier than expected. This was definitely a trying time for Anike but she didn’t murmur or complain but kept a very positive and cheerful spirit. Anike was a true example of the blessedness that comes from standing apart and choosing to follow God’s ways from an early age.

Bride to be - Nigeria 2014

Anike – My Friend

They say “Friends tell you things that you don’t want to tell yourself” This is true of Anike. She was always objective, just and fair; she would always make you see it from another point of view. I loved the way Anike was so truthful and how much she chose to challenge me as opposed to flatter me. I remember one time I was stressing about my living situation and I called her looking for sympathy and she told me “You’re not going to be homeless Daisy, so relax! You need to stop complaining and start exercising some spiritual maturity”…honestly, guys I’ve never had someone in my life that just brings so much perspective to situations.


In additional to her advice and profound words of wisdom, Anike was someone who invested in people. She would always make time (she was a very busy and committed young lady) to nurture her friendships and stay in touch with friends and family. Since secondary school/college Anike and I have been long distant friends; I moved away to go to university, she worked and studied abroad, then I moved to Wales and she got married and moved to Gloucestershire. Though separated by distance Anike was extremely committed and consistent in staying in touch with me, even when I got lazy and wouldn’t call, she was very intentional about maintaining our friendship.


Also, Anike was very fun to be around! I remember such great times at her house. Memories of us talking, listening to music, Anike cooking for me (I would literally come to her house fully expecting to be fed lol), biblical discussions etc. Anike was always accepting of other people’s personalities and differences. Those days I was very very playful and it would manifest itself the most at Anike house lol! But instead of finding it annoying, she would join me and it made for such good times.

Anike visiting me at university 

Anike - Wedding session

This season was so exciting!!! I remember when Anike and Tope got engaged and the wedding planning began. She asked me to be her Maid of Honour and I was completely flabbergasted but extremely honoured. I didn’t get to go to her wedding in the end L but I was determined to help her every step of the way. I remember us looking for bridesmaid’s dresses and hairstyle together. I remember planning her bridal shower and all the excitement around that. I remember dropping her to the airport (her wedding was in Nigeria), bidding her farewell as a single woman. This was such a blessed experience to share with her, but the most precious part was the unnumbered hours we spent in prayer in the lead up to the wedding; praying for her wedding, her marriage, her husband etc

Beautiful Bride - 20th December 2014

Anike - For the last time

It was Wednesday morning on the 21st of September and both Anike and I forgot to call each other that morning for prayer. She called me when I was on my way to work, which is something we would always do! After apologies for letting each other down, Anike was sharing some exciting news about visiting Kirgizstan! I was like “Wow Anike, of all places!” Anike was such a traveller and so adventurous! She had come down to Wales as she had a few things to do in Newport, and she was hoping that we could meet up. I really wanted to see her (the last time we saw each other was end of May that year) but at the time I assumed Newport was over 2 hours’ drive from me (a few days ago I realised that it’s just an hour L ) so I didn’t think we could meet up at all that day. I got to work and had to rush in, so I cut our conversation short and ended it by saying “Anike, I’ve just got into work, so I’m gonna have to speak to you later, yea!”.


When I got to my desk, I felt like I ended the call a bit too abruptly so I texted Anike apologising and said to her that I hope she manages to sort out everything in preparation for Kirgizstan. Little did I know that that would be the last conversation I would have with her.

The next day, I was walking to Tesco on my lunch break and thought to give Anike a call, we often had lunchtime chit chats as well. Her phone rang out for a bit and her husband picked up (not to my surprise) and eventually informed me that Anike had passed away…and in that moment, I dissolved.


I was so heartbroken but mostly confused, how can this be? I was mostly upset that my last ever conversation with her ended so badly. Anike and I would speak often in the morning on our way into work and we would discuss a number of topics, and would always finish our conversations on a positive edifying note…why did that day, of all days, have to be different!

I spent that night in so much pain and disbelief. My heart broke so much for her husband, son, family and friends, and all others she had left behind. I kept thinking about how Anike and I had made so many plans together, she had always been there and I just could not imagine going through any major life event without her there. I finally fell asleep and God comforted my heart with a dream.

The Dream

Anike and I were on the London Underground, and we were both sitting on the Jubilee line just talking. We got to Waterloo Station and Anike was trying to get me to come off with her but I couldn’t get off at that stop as I needed to get the district or circle line from Westminster Station. We hugged and said our goodbyes as the train was slowly pulling into Waterloo Station. The doors opened at the Station and Anike got off the train and faced me. Still on the train, I said to her “God be with you”, Anike was just smiling (her usual signature smile J ) and then I leaned over and kissed her cheeks and said to her “keep smiling”. The doors closed and the train began to pull off, Anike and I were still facing each other. We continued to smile at each other as the train pulled away until we were both out of sight.


This dream coupled with the following readings


Ecclesiastes 9:5-6 For the living know that they shall die: but the dead know not any thing, neither have they any more a reward; for the memory of them is forgotten. Also their love, and their hatred, and their envy, is now perished; neither have they any more a portion for ever in any thing that is done under the sun.



1 Corinthians 15:51-55  Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality. So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?



1 Thessalonians 4: 15-18 For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep.For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord. Wherefore comfort one another with these words.


These verses brought so much relief, just knowing that Anike was not angry or upset with me and knowing that it was just goodbye and we would see each other again. Like Apostle Paul says “Comfort one another with these words”


Today I want to express my deep love and overflowing gratitude for Anike’s love, life and influence. I will always cherish her loving nature, bright smile, sweet cheeks. I will never forget her deeply profound wisdom, her Godly strength and feminine grace. Most of all I will miss those beautiful feet…you’re probably all wondering why this blog post is entitled “Beautiful Feet” and why I keep referring to this. The feet I’m talking about are as described in Romans 10:15 “…How Beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, and bring tiding of good things!”


Anike had beautiful feet; she walked this earth so gracefully, blessing those whom she came in contact with. Anike touched so many lives in so many different ways. She touched my life personally by not only being my friend but by leading me (at the age of 12/13) to accept Christ into my heart as my personal saviour…that’s why her feet are so beautiful to me.

Anike and I on my 25th birthday 

Friends and Family of Anike and all who are reading this post, let us be encouraged and choose to walk this earth with dignity and grace, seeking to love and to serve Christ and all those whom he came to save.


May we have Beautiful Feet.

...Last Goodbye

Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord..that they may rest from their labours; and their works do follow them. 

Revelation 14:13 

Anike Igunnu, greatly loved and truly missed

♥ Miss Daisy ♥


p.s Anike’s Family and Friends have put together a website in memory of Anike,  It is still under construction but please follow this link to find out more - www.anikeigunnu.com  


Also I have blogged about Anike, here, here and here. Check these posts out for more memories.