Dear Auntie Molly: In loving memory of Molly Mirembe Kulongo

A personal letter that I wrote and posted to Auntie Molly on the 7^th of March 2016.

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Dear Auntie Molly,

Greetings from your daughter and friend Daisy. You have been deeply in my thoughts and I am sad to admit that I have not stayed in touch with you like I should have and would have liked to. Please forgive me.

I was speaking to a friend before the New Year who was telling me about the words that she shared at her grandmother’s funeral.  She told me that while she was speaking, she realised that she wasn’t saying anything that her grandmother didn’t already know. Oftentimes it’s only when someone passes away that we begin to express our deep feelings towards them and highlight the good things about them. We can even express things that perhaps we didn’t share with them while they were still on this earth.

For this purpose I am writing you this letter.

Auntie, I know that you are currently wrestling with the idea as to whether you may fall asleep sooner rather than later, and I don’t want to wait until then (whenever that may be) to open my heart to you and to express my deep love and gratitude for all that you are and all that you have been to me.

I write you this letter not because you are dead but because in Christ you are ALIVE!

Being a teenager and somewhat new Christian isn’t easy. I remember when I decided to start attending Beckton Maranatha SDA Church and how Aunties such as yourself, Auntie Sarah, Auntie Justine, Auntie Rebecca, Auntie Ruth and Mrs Kavuma really embraced me and looked after me in the absence of my parents. Back then I didn’t appreciate your correction regarding my low cut tops, short skirts, tight clothes and black nail vanish but now I am truly thankful for your consistency and persistence in lovingly showing me the error of my ways.

Transitioning into womanhood I learnt so much from you. By example you showed me what it means to be a woman, a wife and a mother. I watched you open your home to anyone who was in need. You allowed us to use your home for youth bible studies, choir practice, Beckton Sisters recordings, church meetings, social gatherings and even somewhere just to hang out; your home is known to be a safe haven and a place of refuge to many. I remember when visitors would come to the house at night just before you were about to go to bed and you would come downstairs and cook for them and host them. I have seen how God has blessed you and Uncle with 5 precious jewels and how you have offered them back to Him. Each one of your children has played such a significant part in my life and walk with God.

Speaking of being a wife, I remember one morning when you burst into the girls’ room and pretty much told us that we were all too young to get married, and you began to tell us about the true realities of the married life. Auntie, though we were quite unresponsive, texting on our phones while you were talking and generally appeared indifferent, I must admit (especially in my case) that you were right. I truly appreciate the words you shared with us that morning and I have taken note of them. Auntie you truly left no stone unturned, you even spoke to us about the importance of cleanliness and female hygiene, I remember writing about it in my journal hehe :). You have been a living example of your words, and I know this to be true and I can see the fruit of this when I look at Uncle’s deep love for you.

What I cherish the most is our one to one time. I have such good memories of the days I would sit at your bedside and we would talk and talk. I look forward to having more of these moments with you. Auntie, I love the way you show such deep interest in my life choices and especially in my “love life”. I know that you have been praying for me in this area. I know that you long to see the man God (if it is His will) will bring into my life to be my husband and friend. I know that you will be my eyes and my ears and will prayerfully and closely examine his character to see if he is indeed the Lord’s choice. Thank you for the many times you have been a listening ear as I have opened up about my hopes, dreams, doubts and fears.

My sweetest memory with you is when I took some time out to look after you and to cook for you. I cooked so many different vegan dishes for you and Uncle to try, that was a very fun time! I remember asking you if I could practice my massage techniques on you, I know you love massages, so you happily complied :). I know we had our disagreements about chicken and cups of Tetley’s tea, but I honestly enjoyed that time with you. It was a delight to serve you, thank you for giving me an opportunity to live out my faith practically. I learnt so much about what it means to be a medical missionary and to love as Christ loves - seeking to love and draw near to those who He came to save.

Last but not least, I have been thinking about your faith, your love for your Creator, your prayerfulness and your tireless efforts in the women’s ministry department. I once heard that our trials are weighed and measured in heaven before being given to us. To me this means that anything that may befall us is fully considered and assessed before it even touches us. This thought was coupled with the thought that God will not give us more than we can bear. God knows Auntie, that in Him you can face anything. You have been through so much these past few years but you have shown yourself strong in the face of bitter and painful trials. You have clung to your Saviour and Friend, trusting that he will carry you through.  Though you have been disappointed, disheartened and discouraged you always speak of His goodness. I have never heard you speak negatively of God for anything that has befallen you.

In Him you have an unbreakable spirit.

You have proven faithful to God in all your tests and trials and you will prove faithful even in this! Please continue to give Him your whole heart, trust and believe Auntie. Please Auntie, know and believe that God has not forgotten about you. He longs to walk by the way with you – by waters still and deep through places high and steep, He will lead you. Your dear Shepheard wants to guide you through paths of peace and righteousness. Though you feel like you are face to face with death, believe that in all things He is faithful and know that you are still beloved of your God. Remember Christ’s precious blood was shed that you may have life! On this earth, regardless of any sickness, In Christ you do have life and have it more abundantly. His love for you is indomitable and stronger than sickness, suffering and death.

Thank you for holding on for so long Auntie, hold on a little bit longer, His grace is still sufficient for you. Thank you for setting such a good example. I pray that we may seek to be faithful to God that we may stand victorious on that sea of glass and if not we’ll definitely meet at the tree of life. But until then, while on this earth, may our love for our God be pure, passionate, unhindered, resilient, unreserved, unconquerable and endless.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

….For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. 

Romans 8:35, 38-39

With overflowing love

Daisy

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The letter arrived safely in London and I asked Auntie’s youngest son Ivan if he could read the letter to her. Interestingly, every time he went to visit her in hospital he kept forgetting the letter at home, even though he was sure he had put it in his inside pocket. To cut a long story short, providentially I ended up reading her the letter on the 12^th of March 2016, when I went to visit her in hospital.

Sadly Auntie Molly passed away on Friday the 1^st of April 2016. I was deeply saddened as I honestly didn’t think that that would be the last time I would see her, but at the same time happy to know that our last memory together was me reading her this letter.  I got to do with Auntie, what she enjoyed the most and what we did the best; I got to sit at her bedside and talk with her, for one final time…

…Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord from henceforth: Yea, saith the Spirit, that they may rest from their labours; and their works do follow them. 
Revelation 14:13

Rest Auntie, We shall speak again very soon x

♥ Miss Daisy ♥

Travel Diaries: Cologne, Germany

This month my mother and I traveled to Germany for a little respite from work and to visit my sister Rona and niece Malaika. I was literally living between London and Germany for most of 2011 so I was excited to go back after almost 4 years.

Interestingly enough there was almost no holiday as we missed our early morning flight, which left me in a very rotten mood and I vowed to go back to Wales. The situation was a complete disaster - the cab driver came really late, the self service bag drop wouldn't register our bags so we had to take them as hand luggage, I had almost all my liquids thrown in the bin at security, as we rushed to the gate we forgot one bag at security and had to turn back and then my mother and I ended up going to two completely different departure gates...it was awful! But I guess you live and you learn. That day I learnt the true meaning of the phrase "Character is not formed in a crisis but rather revealed". Running late, missing our flight and being extremely stressed really showed me how dreadful I can be when under huge amounts of pressure...hmmm this is probably a discussion for another blog post so let's get back to the holiday. 

So we finally arrived in Germany and were greeted by Rona, Stephan and Malaika. When I saw my sister I realised that I hasn't seen her in almost two years but it felt like I just saw her the other day. My niece on the other hand didn't remember me at all, even after showing her pictures of us having fun times together. Despite forgetting who I was she greeted me which such affection and warmth. I realised how important it is to be active in a young child's life and to make an effort to be there as children will forget who you are if they hardly or never see you. It's nothing personal, I guess so much happens in a young child's life and they are constantly making new memories who those around them. 

Malaika and I - Creating new memories

When I was last in Germany my sister was living in a modern apartment in Bonn but since moved to a house in a small village in Cologne. The village isn't too far from an apple farm so we spent most of the trip in the house enjoying the sunshine with freshly squeezed organic apple juice.

Mum, Niece and Sister

On Sunday we visited the historic town of Aachen which is still in Germany but borders Belgium. Almost everything is closed in Germany on a Sunday, but the town's main attraction, Aachen Cathedral, was open. I only managed to get one decent picture of the outside (the cathedral is much bigger than pictured) and I wasn't too sure if I was allowed to take photos of the inside, but definitely look it up on the internet as it is quite an interesting building. The outside of the Cathedral had a very gothic and medieval feel but the inside was quite bright and had some very detailed artwork - especially on the ceiling. Overall I would describe the interior as being quite spectacular. It's strange because even though I found some parts of the Cathedral very  beautiful, I couldn't help but think how much money was spent on the interior and the ornaments and wondered whether it could have been put towards a more needy cause. 

Aachen Cathedral 

Well, that pretty much sums up my trip to Germany, I think this short holiday really ignited my love for travelling. I want to do a lot more traveling in the future and explore the world that God created. One thing is for certain, I will definitely be making trips to Germany more often than not. 

Be ready for more travel diaries.

Love, your girl forever,

♥ Miss Daisy ♥

How are you doing spiritually?

At the beginning of the year I was catching up with my good friend Hannah. We were messaging each other back and forth as it had been a very long time since we last spoke. At the end of one of her messages she asked me the question “How are you doing spiritually?”

What? Is that even a question that can be asked? I have never been asked such a straight question regarding my walk with God however I admired the directness of the question. This question awakened a lot of trust and transparency and I began to relate to Hannah, quite candidly, experiences from the past year (2013).I was open about my hopes, my fears, my struggles and my victories and in return she openly shared her experience. It’s very interesting because some of the things she expressed I could definitely relate to, and I was very encouraged as I often used to think that I was the only one who thought a certain way or went through a certain thing,  but I was able to see that there are others who go through similar things too. Our conversation definitely dispelled any myths or preconceived ideas we had about each other and we both committed to praying for each other.

During that week I began to think about our conversation and the question she asked. It made me think – How often do I ask my friends about their walk with God? Their temporal/physical well being is definitely important, hence why I ask “how are you doing?” “How is work going”? “Did you manage to pay that thing off?” “Have you settled into your new house yet?” etc. How much more important is their spiritual well being? Should I not be just as concerned? So that week I decided that I am going to make a habit of enquiring about the spiritual well being of my friends and family at appointed opportunities.

It’s very important to me as I've realised that we as human being often operate on a “don’t ask, don’t tell” basis. If Hannah never asked me that direct question about my spiritual life it’s more than likely that I wouldn't have said anything even if she asked “How’s your life going or how are you generally?”  It’s very important to me as I remember a few years back I wasn't doing too good spiritually, I was making a load of bad decisions and pretty much weaving a tangled web for myself. I remember feeling like I couldn't speak to anybody; I thought to myself no one will understand, who can really relate? At that time it felt like everyone around me was going from strength to strength on their Christian journey and I was scared to approach anyone as I felt that maybe they would judge me and say “How can you be thinking/feeling this way?” “How could you let this happen, you should have known better!” so in my mind it felt easier to just put on a pretence and act like everything was OK. Obviously it’s very unlikely that any of my friends or family would have acted in this way, but those were some of the barriers that kept me from speaking to anybody or seeking encouragement during that time. However I do wonder, if I was asked back then the question “how are you doing spiritually?” would I have had the courage to answer that question and ask for prayer and guidance? Is that what it would have taken, just someone to simply ask?

When it comes to our friends and family, obviously everyone’s walk with God is personal to themselves and God is their strength and helper in all things. However we can do our part as friends and take notice and care for their spiritual well being, pray for specific things in their life and encourage them through our conversations with them and through sharing scripture.

So today, if you are reading this, I encourage you to take the time when conversing with friends and family to enquire about their spiritual well being. Ask them “how are you doing spiritually?”, “How is your Christian journey going?” etc. It may come as a shock to some people as it is something that is rarely asked, but I can tell you from my own experience, the question was much appreciated, it meant a lot to me and made quite an impact.

"Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." 

James 5:16

Love, your girl forever,

♥ Miss Daisy ♥

Danny Boy

17 years ago the world welcomed my twin brother Danny (His name is Daniel but I've only ever call him Danny), though born 7 years apart we are pretty identical and look like twins therefore (in my mind anyway) we’re twins!

Christmas 2011

Danny is an incredibly unique and talented young man and I am so happy that he is my little brother. He is very loving and kind to me, even when I am being “the mean big sister” he has never really ever been disrespectful to me. It feels so strange that he is all grown up now, I remember looking after him, feeding him, changing him etc. I remember when he was a toddler I used to wake him up in the middle of the night so he could sleep with me in my bed when I felt scared.

I’ll never forget the day I was sitting down on the garden step, I had Danny on my lap, as I was trying to feed him some juice. Every time I went to feed him he would move his head away, so I decided it was time to force feed him that juice. I held him tightly and proceeded to feed him but he continued to move his head, the more he moved his head the tighter I held him; he began to shout “Daisy! Daisy!” as I continued to make him drink. My mum turned and said “Daisy, he is saying your name!” “Really?” I thought. I wanted to hear this so I tried to force feed him again and he shouted “Daisy! Daisy!” in order to make me stop; that was the day Danny said his first word.

Danny, my special little brother, I pray that as you continue to grow in years that you will become more responsible and make the right decisions concerning your life, I pray that you will always choose to do the right thing even if it means you standing out amongst the crowd. I pray that you will grow to be the man God wants you to be.

Happy Birthday Danny

Love, your big sister (and twin) forever,

Miss Daisy

Wales 2013

Let me tell you about this woman.

When she was 20 years old she decided to leave Uganda and move to England. Her partner (who later became her husband) wasn’t too keen on the idea; I mean, who did they know in England really? However this woman was determined, she had a vision…she had dreams.

While her husband worked long hours, she started doing hair from home and offering her services at local hair salons. She could have enjoyed a life at home looking after her 5 year old son and 1 year old daughter, but this woman was determined, she needed to help support her family.

Education was very important to her, but with a husband and two young children that had to be set aside, however this woman was determined and patient, it was just a matter of time.

She kept a daily journal with daily prayers for her husband and children. She faithful kept that journey!  Going before God and reviewing her day and setting goals for herself, this woman was determined; she understood the importance of a praying wife and mother.

She would watch cooking programs and with her daughter observing  by her side she would experiment in the kitchen with all kinds of recipes. When her daughter was in primary school every morning she would make her African millet porridge, her daughter loved that porridge and till this day her daughter still calls it yummy porridge. This woman was determined; her daughter had to learn to cook delicious meals.

Heavily pregnant with her second son, she redecorated and painted the whole house. She laboured tirelessly for her husband and children, no surface was left unwiped or bed unmade. This woman was determined; her house had to be a home.

Finally the time came for her to pursue a course of study. Through trial and error, success and (apparent) failures she made history she became the first university graduate in her family. Against all the odds, past mistake, inconveniences and struggles she pushed through and is finally where she wants to be. This woman was determined, determined to finally live her dream.

Do you know this woman? I know this woman, I see her in the mirror sometimes. Since she was 20 years old, I have been watching her. She provided me with a very strong example and some of my greatest strengths can be traced back to her.  Though sheer determination and much sacrifice she taught me, sometimes lessons that I didn’t want to learn.

But the greatest strength she has given me is a knowledge of God. We don’t always see eye to eye in spiritual matters, however through her the gospel seed was planted in my heart.  For years she persevered and made the greatest effort to make sure we attended church every week; (In fact my earliest childhood memory is me being outside my first church in Canning Town) she taught us how to pray and to love God. I am so thankful for her determination in this respect, as years later, by my own choice, I decided to give my heart to Christ.

Mum, I’m so thankful for the journey that God has guided you through; it’s been very inspiring to watch. I thank God for thee; for your determination and love, for everything you are and everything you mean to me.

My Mother and I at Aberdulais Falls 2013

Happy Birthday Mum

Love, your one and only daughter forever,

♥ Miss Daisy ♥

He's 30 Today!

I’ve always wondered what makes turning 30 so significant? Perhaps the 30^th birthday is the final stamp of adulthood; you’ve left your awkward teenage and immature twenties behind and now can be taken seriously when you refer to yourself as an adult. My brother’s 30^th birthday is significant to me because it has made me think about his journey.

My oldest brother Douglas

The part of London where my family currently live was not considered the best of areas while Douglas was growing up. The schools weren’t particularly any good and the streets of E16 were filled with crime, violence, vandalism, racism etc. (It probably wasn’t as bad as I’ve made it sound but for those who grew up in the Canning Town/East London area would know what I mean) It was hard times being a boy during those times and a lot of boys his age cracked under peer pressure and “fell off the path” as it were.

So today is significant to me not because “My brother has turned the big three zerooo whoop whoop!!!!!” but rather he has reached a milestone where we can look back at his life and thank God for what He has allowed him to become despite “the odds”. Circumstances were not always favourable during these 30 years but Douglas has managed to successful swim against the tide into adulthood.

Doug, I thank God for your life and I am very proud of you.

Happy Birthday Bro

The golden days: My brother and I

With Overflowing Love

♥ Miss Daisy ♥

Triumph: In loving Memory of Emmanuel Kulongo

A poem that I read at the funeral of Emmanuel Kulongo on Friday 23rd August 2013.*

Triumph

It is the triumph of the Christian faith that it enables its followers to suffer loss and be strong...

To maintain a grip of steel, then willingly give.

To love, and lose, and dare to love again.

To believe in promises while relinquishing the right to personal claims.

To accept tears as glittering gifts and as diamonds rare. 

To believe that we are perfectly loved, even when suffered to drink anguish.

To have unwavering trust though we don’t understand.

It is triumph.

To embrace and even welcome whatever God’s providence ordains.

To suffer softly.

To remember that His feet are washed best with tears.

To remember He has never once made a mistake.

To remember there is a reason why we are trusted with every sorrow.

To remember His name is made great when His children love Him anyway.

Manni and his siblings

Now it's our turn.

Our turn to tuck in this treasure.

To give our precious gift Emmanuel Wakoli Kulongo back to the Giver.

Me thinking this is the worst kind of personal loss— but at the same time wondering;

Is it really loss when you give a gift? 

What God has taken is it loss? No.

Nothing is lost if it is a gift given back...

But is it triumph?

That the closing pages of Emmanuel’s life pointed us back to the cross,

His Creator wounded to the delight of Satan and pleasure of those he came to save.

A lonesome death appearing like victory belonged to another,

But with His closing words 'It is Finished'

Christ yields His final breath in completion of His great conquest over sin and over death.

And in yielding all and letting go of life itself.

Christ bows His head conqueror in all things.

Therefore it is triumph!

That the last lesson Emmanuel’s life taught, is that Satan can do whatever to the body

But he cannot, touch the soul that abides in Christ.

Therefore it is triumph!

Manni and his wife Gloria (2010)

That many comfortable knees finally found the ground.

True confession and repentance.

Surrendered hearts.

We uplifted our brother.

In those final moments.

Hearts sustained only by prayer and Psalms.

The four of us standing strong and united.

Singing sacred lullabies.

Emmanuel drifts to sleep.

Walls left resounding “O Lord, How Great Thou Art"

In The stillness of the night.

Eyes filled with tears.

We remember...

Manni and his Son Josiah (2011)

A devoted Son, Brother, Husband, Father and Friend

A life bound to the altar, dedicated to service

A spirit humble

A heart patient and tender

Spiritual conversations

Loving rebukes and reproofs

Smoothies and fruit juices

Parks and restaurants

Back flips and handstands

Dangers of the night lurking, finding refuge in a drive home.

The musical mastermind

Heavenly compositions

Complex harmonies

Always insisting notes are nailed without compromise

Guardian and teacher

Ink ridden pens, tethered pages, worn out bibles

Studying together

Eating the little book together

Finding strength in the high places together

Manni and I (2008)

And what once felt like nightfall, now feels like the moment just before dawn

And when dawn should reach eternity on that glorious morning

We shall meet Emmanuel again

Crying “O death, where is thy sting O grave where is thy victory”

And together we shall say “It is Triumph!”

Later, when this pearl finds a temporary place of rest and after thoughts, words, prayers and tears have finished their work for the day, what is left for us is a lesson worthy of the gift through which it came;

Faith doesn't mean that if we believe hard enough, pray hard enough, we'll love the outcome.

Faith, is believing that God’s perfect will has been accomplished, regardless of the outcome.

Manni, Gloria and Josiah (2012)

Therefore I stand here today, Thanking God for Manni’s life,

How he stood up tall and graceful and gave his heart to a merciful God.

And by faith, I believe, that through Emmanuel’s life and his death, Christ has triumphed!  

                                 If video does not play, please use the following link:http://vimeo.com/74576711

In all things, Christ triumphs!

♥ Miss Daisy ♥ 

* Some exerts of this poem have been adapted from Sean Neblett's poem "Triumph [Like a Pearl]