Victory is through surrender

So my current career is in Computing and ICT. I am more passionate about other things but this is what I do at the moment to make a living. I currently work in a team of 7 in ICT Support; we are the people you contact when “something is not working!”. When I first started my job, I was in a team of 3, the 3rd person was my manager so technically I was in a team of 2 so it was just my colleague, let’s call him Samuel,  and I.

**Disclaimer**

This is a character building experience/lesson  that the Lord has put me through and I am not here to suggest this is something someone else should do or that this is the best thing to do. I am just sharing my own personal experience hoping that we will be able to learn more about submission and surrender. Also just to add that this is nothing to do with love or romantic relationships but simply respect and submission and there is no communication or relationship or romantic feelings  outside of this context.

Sorry! Disclaimers are so awkward  but have to be done, to find out what I am talking about keep reading :)

I personally find the Computing , IT and Technical industry to be a very male dominated area, and often times women can feel trampled upon and undermined in terms of knowledge and experience. I don’t believe this is every woman’s experience in this field but I have witnessed and experienced these things, so when I started this role I wasn’t surprised when me and my male colleague started to clash a little bit.

I found that he was always taking over; he used to do things like,  if I was dealing with a user and was finding it difficult to resolve an IT issue, he would just completely take over and I would be pushed into the background not really knowing the steps he was taking to resolve the issue. Also if he was showing me how to do something he would often grab the mouse out of my hand and do it for me. I also found that my judgment and decisions would always be either questioned or seen as wrong. It became quite difficult to deal with because in my mind I thought if I wasn’t qualified enough or didn’t know what I was doing why would they have employed me.

After a while, I guess I started to rebel. I started to do my own thing and wouldn’t listen to his suggestions or take his help. If I did take his help, I wouldn’t do it with a sincere heart. When he would grab my mouse I would grab it back. I began to make my frustrations very clear. This obviously was not a good approach at all as we are both there to work as a team to support the service.  

I remember one day, the situation became so overwhelming that I ran to the toilet almost in tears. I was so upset and I was praying and asking the Lord how am I supposed to cope with all of this, I am here 5 times a week so it is something I have to deal with almost every day. I really wished my colleague would change and stop trying to take over and control everything.

In that moment God opened my heart and I remember being impressed that I just have to submit.

What?

I have to stop rebelling and just surrender. The Lord was calling me to just submit to him.

Why?

I was given 3 reasons

1. He’s a man
2. He’s older than me
3. He has been in this job for a number of years and has more experience and knowledge in this area.

This was a hard answer for me to take in as I knew that I just wanted my colleague to change, but I realised that I needed to change. Sometimes when we start a new job, ministry, project etc. We often come like we have arrived and often don’t want to humble ourselves and learn from those who have a bit more experience and foreknowledge than us. We trust too much in our own knowledge and experience and that becomes our ruler.   I needed to change my approach to the situation and realise that I couldn’t win by fighting him. The Lord wanted me to understand the paradox that victory is through surrender.

From that day I started to change my approach, when he would tell me something I would listen and welcome his suggestions. When he would start taking over or would grab my mouse,  I would let him and try and learn and observe what he was doing to resolve the issue.

God is so good as honestly, we now have the best working relationship ever! We both support each other in our roles, we share knowledge and also support each other in personal matters e.g If I need to leave work early last minute, he is happy to stay behind and cover me and vice versa. I don’t feel in anyway that he tries to take over and he doesn’t grab my mouse anymore :). Also I have found that he often asks for my suggestion and goes with decisions that I make. We have developed mutual respect for each other. I have also developed in my career and technical knowledge because of our interactions. It’s such a blessing to know that you can work with someone in a team and not clash or have to fight.  I believe this  blessing came from surrender. People may be asking “Well what about him?!?!” I can’t look at him or expect him to change his behaviour, that is out of my control but I can change my own behaviour and set the example as a Christian. It is powerful to see how my part alone and following God’s counsel has produced such positive results.

This experience has taught me so much about submission in a marriage and has changed my perspective. I used to view submission as control and total domination but now I view it as respect, protection, honour and trust. There are times when Samuel will tell me that I need to do “such and such” to resolve an issue and in my mind I am screaming, “This is not going to work!!!”, I go ahead and do it anyway, and it does work! I am seeing the wisdom of God in submission, and it is teaching me to learn to trust in the judgement of others, as I will not always have the right answer.

Just to reiterate, as I don’t want to be misunderstood, there are no romantic feelings here and our interactions do not go beyond working hours. I have grown to respect Samuel as an individual and as a professional and I want nothing but the best for him professionally and also that he may give his heart to Christ :). I just wanted to share this experience as I am thankful for the Lord’s leading in this area, and for his unfathomable wisdom in teaching me this great lesson and for making my working environment a pleasant place to be.

Victory is through surrender!

…. nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.

Luke 22: 42

Love, your girl forever,

♥ Miss Daisy ♥  

Victory

How can I win if I surrender?

How can I fight if I die?

This paradox seems like a mystery,

Is it possible to win if I lose?

How can win if I surrender?

How can I fight if I die?

On that lonely evening at Gethsemane,  

The battle of all ages was fought for you and me,

Victory is through surrender!

Jesus said not my will but thine be done,

Jesus found victory is through surrender

I can win when I surrender

I can fight because you died

This paradox is not a mystery

I die so you can live within me

Victory is mine when I surrender.

Lord I surrender all to you.

Jared and Zac Caster

Everybody likes to be liked

Happy new year one and all! 

...Wow, that's how long it's been!

It's has been a few months since I wrote on here. I guess it’s been a cross between not being motivated to write and also going through a huge transitional period (I hope to share more about this soon) that has kept me “MIA”.

Nevertheless I’m here for this moment :)

I want to write candidly about an area that has been pressing on my heart.

A LOT has been going on in and around me and it has really revealed an inward struggle within my heart. As the earth continues to degrade and as the wickedness and corruption in this world reaches higher heights, I am beginning to conceptualise the harsh realities of what it means to be a Christian.

I guess I have always known that being a Christian means standing tall and often standing alone, but I’m beginning to sink into the realisation  that standing for Christ, his word and his truth goes hand in hand with persecution.

But why I am even surprised?

The bible does say “…and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.” 2 Timothy 3:12

I’m surprised because the reality is, deep down…I want Christ but not persecution.

But can a servant be greater than her master?

“Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you…” John 15: 20

If Christ suffered persecution then who am I to shun it?

I’m feeling so pressed and pushed by the idea that this is not something I can run from or avoid…unless I let go of Jesus all together?

God promises many things in his word, but not freedom from persecution for his name sake.

He promises Victory!

But not without warfare.

So here I am….

Anxious

Afraid

Yet greatly loved and comforted.

Another reality I need to settle into is that there is nothing that Christ is asking me to pass through that he himself has not gone through or willing to do. The path before me has already been trod.

So this is my prayer…

Lord, your grace is sufficient…help me to stand bold for you and for the truth. Help me to hold fast to my convictions…no matter the cost. Indeed, whatever may befall me is such a small price to pay compared to all you have done for me.

In Jesus Name, Amen

Everybody likes to be liked…but that’s not what’s promised.

Love, your girl forever,

♥ Miss Daisy ♥

Half Way

Is it just me or is 2013 flying by? It’s July already which means we've passed this year’s half way mark. Where is the time going? Better yet, what have I actually done so far this year?  Like most, I started this year very optimistic, I felt like the world was my oyster; so many opportunities and goals set before me and I was so ready to explore and learn. As the year progressed and I was going forward with all my exciting plans, one by one these opportunities and goals fell apart right before my eyes. It felt like God was physically closing doors, and there was nothing I could do to keep them open. So here we are in July and I can’t help but feel that this year so far has been a complete disappointment.

One thing I have always wondered is how do we determine the will of God? How do we know for sure what he wants us to do? I know that God’s word reveals His ultimate will for us as his followers but I am thinking about the more detailed, specific and personal details of our lives. I have always struggled with this thought as I have seen instances where people that I know have made plans or followed a course that is pleasing to God (based on biblical counsel and God’s providential leading) and things just haven’t worked out. Let me give you a personal example of something that hasn't worked out for me this year. Not many people know this but I was only supposed to be in Wales for 6 months as I was given the opportunity to move to the Caribbean islands and work with a long term Medical Missionary and his family. This was an amazing opportunity as I have always wanted practical “hands on” experience as a Medical Missionary. However this wide open door began to shut and a number of things lead me to finally accept that this opportunity wasn't going to happen.

I was very disappointed that things didn't work out, as I have wanted to minister and serve as a Medical Missionary since 2009 but at that time I was still in university and had ties and responsibilities in London. However this year I was finally in a position to go forward with this and believed that this was the appointed time as I had waited so patiently for this opportunity. So when things didn't work out I was very confused, I was thinking to myself “Why did God lead me here and open doors in such a way for me to go forward?” “Why did God show me all these signs and provide the perfect circumstances to go?”  “Why did God lead me in this direction and now this door has slammed shut on me?” Through much prayer, conversation with friends and reading I came to the realisation that I had preconceived ideas regarding God’s will and his timing.  

I had planned out this year based on what I believed God’s will was for me. It felt like this was the thing to do as everything seemed right to me, but then when in his providence he closed that door and some others (which also could mean that at the same time He is opening new doors) I didn't recognise this as His will because I had so many preconceived ideas. I looked at this situation and thought “I know that God wants me to do this, it has to be it”, but now I know that God was using this situation to show me that as I am seeking to know God’s will for my life I need to let go of my preconceived ideas.

Having preconceived ideas may seem like a small matter but can have detrimental consequences. The Israelites in Jesus’s day as a whole expected the Messiah to come as a king, a conqueror, a leader who would rule with an iron rod and defeat the Romans who were oppressing them and set up this great empire. However we know that Christ came as the complete opposite, he came as ‘a lamb to the slaughter’ (Isaiah 53:7) with meekness and humility (Christ’s sermon on the mount, Matthew chapters 5- 7, is just one example of where Christ’s true character and mission is demonstrated) and because the people had preconceived ideas of how Christ would come they were unable to accept him as the Messiah which ultimately lead to the people rejecting and crucifying Jesus.

So, this is my prayer, that God neutralises all our preconceived ideas and gives us a heart that is open to His leading. God sees the whole pattern of our lives and where we need to be and where we need to go, we just need to be willing to follow him.

“Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.”

Psalms 37:5

Love, your girl forever,

 ♥ Miss Daisy  ♥

The Flower is Growing.

Have you ever been given a gift by someone that knew you but you didn't know them? Over 24 years ago I was given the gift of life. I didn't know it was a gift nor did I know the giver, at that time life probably felt like mere existence. As I began to grow and the years passed by I began to learn more about life and its giver.

I love when my birthday comes around each year, for me it’s a time to reflect and think about this gift of life and how I can make better use of it. I think about how I've developed from the previous year, things I've achieved, areas I need to improve on, moments where I've failed and moments where I've learned. Most importantly I think about my standing with God; has my love for Him grown over the year? Has age and experience increased my commitment and obedience to him? Let’s talk more about life.

Life is such a multifaceted gift, it brings with it love, faith, joy, peace, family, friends, memories, laughter, accomplishments, trust, fulfilment, just to mention a few. It also brings with it pain, sorrow, loss and disappointment. These things may seem to ruin life but actually strengthen us when we pass through them. Another thing that intrigues me about life is the uncertainty of it; the fact that you never know what is going to happen, who you’ll meet, who you’ll lose and ultimately where you'll end up. Even if you try your very best to plan every aspect of your life to the very last minute detail, it's quiet unlikely for it to go exactly how you planned it. Life takes many twists and turns. During my late teens and early 20’s I had my whole life planned out but now at 24 I have no clue what’s next. This at times frustrates me. I often feel like I am walking blind folded on a tight rope not knowing what’s ahead of me. It’s scary, not knowing where the pitfalls are or how long until you “get there”. However, while feeling this, I feel someone holding my hand and keeping me steady. This person can see what’s ahead and is guiding me while encouraging me to keep moving forward. My 23^rd year has taught me not to plan life and try and make things happen the way I want it to happen (thought it might be worth mentioning here that I am not saying that it is bad to plan) but rather put my plans before God, trusting that he will guide me, for he knows what is ahead and will lead me to the right place.

I am the tight rope walker, and Lord, you are my guide. Please continue to lead me and guide my path for many more years to come. Thank you so much Lord for another year.*

I don’t know what lies ahead for you and I, but I do know that if we trust God and allow him to guide us he will lead us to beautiful places. See you there x

Love, your girl forever,

♥ Miss Daisy ♥
* My Birthday is on the 18th of May :-)