Monday, 11 August 2014

Choosing to love always: A small brush with racism

I want to share an experience I had a few weeks ago and to tell you how God turned things around in order to teach me an enduring life lesson. What I share is not intended to be an attack on any individual or group of individuals (as I love you all J) but I believe that if you have ever experienced hateful/abusive words, looks, actions etc you can definitely relate to this post and I hope we can agree on the conclusion of the matter.

So here’s how the story goes….

It was Sabbath (Saturday) and after church some friends and I planned to attend another church to help out with their afternoon health program. I wasn’t too sure where the church was so I decided to follow behind my friend’s car; my friend is known for being a fast driver so I wanted to stay as close as possible to their car. We stopped at a roundabout and my friend was able to go straight through but I had to stop. While I was waiting to go through a young couple with a baby decided to cross the road, the woman ran across with her pram and then the man began to walk across very slowly (remember this isn’t a pedestrian crossing so I had right of way). I started to creep forward not to imply “hurry up I’m going to run you over” but to try and catch up with my friend as my mind was so focused on not being left behind. He finally got to the other side and I prepared to race off when I heard in my left ear all sorts of profanity and the sentence “Can’t you wait you stupid black *blank*!” as I sped away.

I felt like it all happened in a split second and within that time I managed to catch a glimpse of his face and he looked extremely angry! My initial reaction was “Wow! How come I didn’t react or retaliate??”  I wondered if the man even questioned whether I heard him.  It definitely was God’s grace that came to my aid because I know my natural response would have been to turn the car around (somehow) and confront him or call the police – basically make an extremely big deal out of the situation. So I was very encouraged and thankful to God for helping me deal with the situation in the best way. However as I continued driving hurt and sadness began to sink in, I began to remember a conversation that I had with a friend that very week. He was telling me that he has experienced a lot of racism while living in Wales and I was telling him that I find the people here, from young to old, to be very friendly and loving and that I have never experienced racism or any form of abuse since moving here. In fact I realised that I have never directly experienced any form of racism.
Ok…I know some may look at this situation and think "He just called you a black “something” it's hardly racial abuse" but what that man wanted to do was to curse me and show his displeasure and anger and my race was a platform for that and that is what I found hurtful. I was reasoning in my mind if I did do something stupid it would be because I am a stupid person not because of the colour of my skin. However hate doesn't reason like that, it merely seeks to hit you where it hurts. I know I am not completely blameless in this story as I know that creeping forward was what set him off.
The next day was very challenging for me as I kept on hearing his sentence over and over again in my mind and imagining his angry face. I experienced many emotions that day as I went from upset to OK to angry and almost hateful. I began reasoning in my mind that maybe I shouldn’t go into work as I felt my colleagues just tolerated me but deep down didn’t really like me or want me there.

*Note – Be careful with evil thoughts, they are not your thoughts and if you ponder on them they will become your own thoughts and you will begin to believe things that are wholly untrue and irrational.
Providentially I watched an online news special that day which was showing an African American lady being extremely hateful towards a white American who went into her barber shop to meet her African American boyfriend. It wasn’t a nice thing to witness and towards the end of the report I thought to myself “Right, that’s enough!  Everybody has a choice and this is mine – I will not, in fact I refuse to participate in someone else’s hate when the option to love is there, so I choose to love.” All hate does is breed more hate for example the man at the roundabout showed hatred towards me, then I take that and go on to pass that onto my colleagues at work and then they go on to pass it to many others. I honestly can’t be a participant in that; it takes too much time and energy and strips you of your peace.

 
 
Yes hateful words and actions do hurt and cause pain but so do hateful responses. We may think “Yes I’ve got that person back, and showed them what I am made of!” but has responding in the same way provided any consolation?  Are we any happier now?
God took this lesson beyond race and my experience that Sabbath and challenged my thinking even further with this scripture –
For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love them. And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? for sinners also do even the same. And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to receive, what thank have ye? for sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again. But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil. Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful. Luke 6:32-37  
 
True love is distinctive and goes beyond that which is reciprocated. Anyone, and I mean anyone, can “love” those who love them back and treat them well but the love that conquers all can love irrespective of cold and callous treatment. This is a hard concept to come to grips with and challenging but nevertheless it is very true and attainable and I believe that Christ can make this kind of love a reality in our lives...if we choose.
As hurtful as my experience was I believe God allowed it to happen to show me what it really means to love and to challenge me with these questions (join me and ask yourselves these questions too) -  Do I choose to love always? Do I combat hateful behaviour with love? Do I draw warmth from the coldness of others? Is my response to sinful or hateful behaviour telling of the Christian faith I profess?
There is so much hate in this world and much more to come. There’s not much we can do about that but we do have a choice! So let’s choose to love…always.
 
But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.
Luke 6:27-28
 

Love, your girl forever,

♥ Miss Daisy 

 

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